I heard God laught at me when I told him I would study Religion. He responded in the nicest way I think I have ever audibly heard him and not be scared as I was walking across my high school graduate stage saying, "You will be studying me all of your life. And I will not relent". However, I did not necessarily know what that last part meant AT all.
An unrelenting God seemed very angry, distant, and overbearing. And so were my initial Religious courses at 17 years old in a private college. I thought I had the knowledge and fortitude to get through it. But I honestly didn't give myself enough time nor feed my soul as I knew it needed to be fed on my own. I always sought others out, like my big brother in our social fraternity then who is now a Pastor, Greg Wilton. He always taught me to let the sword of The Spirit, God's word, penetrate and shape my heart and actions and to also transform my mind and life.
It's not like I was immature, it's that I was just still so spiritually immature that I was naive. And that childlike innocence was what probably spared me from myself throughout the crisis back then.
When I think about this quote from Matthew Kelly in his book, "I Heard God Laugh" I think about how so much of my own time has been wasted on TV, on junk food, on alcohol in college or just driving around trying to find something to do other than feed my soul and spirit, which if not healthy will not be ready to be used by The Holy Spirit.
Kelly writes:
Yes, each day. How many days has it been since you intentionally fed your soul? You are a spiritual being having a physical experience in this world. You have a soul. Feeding your soul is the missing piece of the puzzle. There is no better time than right now to nurture your inner life, discover your spiritual needs, and fed your soul. It is time to stop ignoring our souls. The soul integrates and harmonizes every aspect of our humanity. It re-orients us toward what matters most.
My prayer for the rest of my life, is to constantly feed my soul with Jesus Christ and His Word for the purpose of the Gospel and the Glory of God alone. That is my purpose, and will always be my calling.